god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
