Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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