Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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