Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize