Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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