I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
