new low.... made out with someone while peeing
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
