A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
