He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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