No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
