Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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