I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So many bounce houses so little time
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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