now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
