Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize