when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
