no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
