I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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