my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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