I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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