i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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