I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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