Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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