You made me cry and you don't even care
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
