I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
