i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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