oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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