i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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