dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
