Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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