After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
