It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
