So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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