Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
