Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize