omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
