you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's blow job season.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
