K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Lo siento on account of my penis...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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