Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
