I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
