I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
