I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
