maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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