okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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