Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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