Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
