I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
