K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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