I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize