I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
So. Much. Porn.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
