Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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