Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize