Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
