i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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