we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
