help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize