38 yer olds are good kisserssss
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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