when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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