did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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