It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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