No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Boobs are out for the taking
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
