Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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