i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize