I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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