So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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