that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
